The Catalyst

     In the past year a few incidents have made me aware that common human decency is not so common any more. At least it is missing in many of my relationships.  This I blame on many things, one of which is this tool I am using, the internet and the false sense of intimacy it can lend to people and situations.  Take for instance my experiences with Facebook. In the past year I read, with horror and disbelief, of intolerance, prejudice, family squabbles, lover's quarrels, lover's intimacies, and ugly rumors. I read that a friend left her husband before he knew she had left him.  I learned that someone I thought open minded and fair is racist and cruel at heart... At first I was going to tell in detail about one such incident, but after reflecting on the rough draft I decided not to share the grisly, disturbing, disgusting details. I decided to practice what I am preaching and be tactful.  In the past, before the ease of communication that technology has afforded me, I was able to maintain friendly relationships and show decency to many people whom I no longer respect.   Once I believed that all humans deserved respect and dignity.  I am on a quest to regain that perspective.

     It's not just personal relationships where I see a lack of respect and tact.  Just watch the news and see the name calling and obscenities, the cruel hate crimes, and the intolerance of differing ideas that are portrayed daily.  Read a newspaper's editorial page.  What has happened to common courtesy and respect?  What has happened to doing good without glorifying one's self?  Daily I wonder how I would treat one of the people I disagree with if they should show up unexpectedly at my door.  I question my hospitality.

     I am in search of a world where decency is practiced and honored.  I want to be what use to be called "classy."  Once, when I was younger someone told me I had class and it was one of the best compliments I ever received.  Today, after thinking about myself and how I often react to things, I know the compliment no longer applies.  Maybe getting my class back will help me see my fellow humans as deserving of respect again.  Maybe practicing the art of tact and the age old custom of hospitality I can regain some civility in my world.

     I want to have a dialogue about what being a tactful, hospitable person means and I promise to listen and respond respectfully.  I'm hoping there are more people who feel as I do.  Are you out there?  Do you hear me?  Is there still a place in the world for courtesy-for-courtesy sake and respect for all humans even if we disagree on philosophical ideology?  How does one act hospitably when ideologies differ? Should one even attempt to be hospitable to those whose views differ? How does one tactfully deal with life now that we have so few personal boundaries?  If I act hospitable, hold my tongue, and act in a cultured manner will my world be a kinder one?  Even if I succeed in my daily life at being more hospitable and tactful will it make a difference?  I don't know, but I think it's worth a try.